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Jun 17, 2019 15:52:10

Criminal Tips - 1

by @gabrielgreco PATRON | 229 words | 🐣 | 100💌

Gabriel Greco

Current day streak: 0🐣
Total posts: 100💌
Total words: 44407 (177 pages 📄)

If you ever commit a crime -well, murder, I'm talkin' about murder right now- there are a few things you really need to do if you don't wanna get caught. Now, I'm serious, if you don't do these things, they'll catch you and they'll lock you up. Seen it countless times, and it's always the same things these idiots get caught on. So this is why I'm tellin' you this, because I want you to get away with murder. Like I do.

The first rule is you gotta clean up. I know, I know, that ain't what comes to mind after you're done killin' someone, but you have to do it by all that is holy! You have GOT to do it! Because, even if you're a dumbass criminal - or maybe especially because you're a dumbass criminal - you know what evidence means, right? 

Evidence is a great many things, but when it comes to you it's real simple; it's the thing that gets you locked up, shut in, out of sight and out of mind, and strapped to a chair with 50,000 volts buzz buzz buzzin' into that bean of yours. Evidence, don't forget that word. But mostly, don't forget to clean that evidence right after you're done your crime. Hell, it's so important you might even want to bring a little Mr. Clean or Windex on your crime spree.

  • 1

    @gabrielgreco Love this scene from "Pulp Fiction" https://youtu.be/1TnrFrmPvLY

    Mike Byrnes avatar Mike Byrnes | Jun 17, 2019 22:27:03
    • 1

      @mikebyrnes He knew what he was talkin' bout!

      Gabriel Greco avatar Gabriel Greco | Jun 18, 2019 14:44:52
  • 1

    @gabrielgreco - this advice goes equally well for eating a slice of pie

    Brian Ball avatar Brian Ball | Jun 17, 2019 13:07:42
    • 1

      @brianball Crumble, crumble makes me grumble

      Gabriel Greco avatar Gabriel Greco | Jun 18, 2019 14:45:38
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