I'm first. I know because that's what the message in the top left corner is saying. 'Nobody else has joined yet'.
Little by little headshots begin to pop up alongside mine. Smiley Kathy, smiley Steve, professional Alan, surly Nick (surly in his profile picture only), JVC, whose Indian name is too hard to pronounce so he's been abbreviated, Duane our team's token black guy.
It's quiet, everybody on mute.
Perky Alice who just joined says, "Hi everybody!"
A couple of people un-mute to say a quick hello or hi back. Then we are all muted again waiting for our leader.
Leader shows up last, as usual. "Sorry everyone, my previous meeting overran. So how's everybody doing?"
People un-mute to say 'good' and 'alright' and 'how are you, Leader?'
"Good, goood." says the leader, "So. Let's get right into it. I can start, we've got a few updates on the Donkey project - Alice and Nick, you can share your updates after me- and there's also an update on the recent org changes, maybe I'll just bring you up to speed on that first." The leader drones on and on for a while, nothing to do with me, like at all. I'm just reading an article on the global selfie crisis. Bad news for social media, but good for living IRL, apparently.
Then Alice starts, "Well, Donkey project, you know how it is, never-ending, haha. But I do have some good news, blah blah blah, and then for the really great news, we're still on track for Q4 with that page change we were talking about last year."
I've finished my article in the meantime and have gone to make a lunch, several pots on the stove, vegetables are diced, the kettle is boiling. It's Steve who is up now, uhmm-ing and ahh-ing through the finer points of the Donkey project, something will be finished, uhmm, next week. There is always something that's going to be finished next week.
Next up is JVC who's been working with somebody on another team on a somewhat random project. He wants to discuss process and him and the leader seem to be holding their own meeting within a meeting. At this rate, there is time for a quick shower. I shave, get dressed and get back to the desk with the hot lunch in front of me.
"So, let's do that," The leader is saying, "we'll bring in Darren and Myles from Z-team and take the discussion offline. I think this will really help the Donkey project along." The leader sounds pleased with the progress. JVC says he's going to send a calendar invite right after we're done the meeting.
The kids are home from school, I set them up with lunch and then leave them do it. My wife should be home any minute. Kathy is telling the Leader all about the new project projection dashboards with various KPIs attached. She's sharing her screen but it keeps dropping, she also has some audio issues. Eventually she's able to go through it, step by step. My wife has arrived in the meantime and is helping the kids with their homework.
It's either myself or Duane next, but I say I don't mind if he goes first. Outside it's already dusk and the sun just about to dip under the horizon. I eat a second serving of lunch for dinner and finally the Leader asks if there's anything from my end. I drone off my key projects for the week and, as I'm about to finish, the leader says, "I'm sorry to interrupt, really sorry everyone, but I've got another meeting. Let's catch up on this in our weekly though. Feel free to continue if you want."
"Oh no, that's fine, that was basically it, really." I say.
"Okay great, so let's catch up next week again. I have to hop on this call, but thanks everyone. Have a good day!"
"Bye everyone!" Alice chimes in.
After a quick series of byes and drop-off beeps there is nobody left. I close the window. It's dark outside. My wife is in bed, reading. The kids are asleep.